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It is normal that we evaluate and weigh more at the pivotal moments of the end of an Old Year and the beginning of a New Year. For me, a New Year is an amazing opportunity to step back and look within. This helps me to look forward. I spend quality time in analysis, introspection, re-calibration, and re-focusing for my life personally, and for my Coaching Practice.

As we stand upon the Sunset of 2011, and head into the Sunrise of 2012, I want to share some insight for this New Year into Emerging Coaching Trends. Like the buds and blossoms of spring, these trends are slowly springing forth. But as they come forward, we want to be on the front end, rather than the tail.

1)  Evaluate

As a coach, we often have the luxury of not being evaluated by others. Thus, rigorous self-evaluation needs to compensate. Go forward into 2012, performing some very important “Checks”:

• Relational Check – How You Connect – Relational wellness and how we connect with others is critical to our own sense of health and well-being. Several years ago, the UCLA did a study of people and discovered that we need between 8-10 meaningful touches per day to be mentally and emotionally healthy. No wonder so many people feel like they are missing something! Relational Wellness speaks to healthy conflict resolution, social intelligence, effective communication skills, and the capacity to be truly intimate.
• Mental Check – What You Think – Where the mind goes, the man follows. We are what we think, and become the product of the thoughts we consistently believe and embrace. Effective coaches work on the detail of their daily thought life, and think healthy thoughts which consistently empower and inspire them.
• Emotional Check – How You Feel – Emotions are not thermostats, but thermometers. They are not root causes in and of themselves, but symptomatic of underlying issues. If I have an emotional struggle, it is often not the real issue, but an indicator of a deeper issue. However, the way we feel has a huge impact on our level of motivation, actions, behaviours, and thus results. Effective coaches focus on emotional management, emotional intelligence, relaxation, and healthy thinking, which leads to healthy emotions.
• Physical Check – How Healthy Is Your Body – Our body is our temple. It is our dwelling place and home. We are responsible to take care of it, and to nourish it with respect and tenderness. When we do, we have healthy outcomes which will enable us to lead a fruitful life. As effective coaches, we should practice healthy nutrition, regular sleep, relaxation, regular exercise, and self-care.
• Spiritual Check – Values & How You Treat Others –The best measure of your spirituality is not the church, mosque, temple or synagogue you frequent. The best measure is how you treat others. It is walking with integrity, honesty, fairness and compassion. Respect. Kindness. Gratitude. Purpose. Selflessness. It is also taking time for personal reflection, meditation and prayer. As effective coaches we seek to live congruent with our own spirituality. The Dalai Lama says:  “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
• Motivation Check – Why Are You Coaching? One of the best things we can do is examine and take a closer look at our own motivations in coaching others. People in 2012 are longing for authentic coaches, who approach their clients with no hidden agendas to “change” or “transform” or “save” them and make all their problems go away. At times, the “Savior” mentality can grip a coach and lead them to a place of control, mixed motives, and insecurity. Take time and examine your motives. Authentic desire to serve, support, hold accountable, and be a small part in the catalystic journey of our clients is optimal.

2) Engage

Social Media continues to be an overwhelming phenomenon which is not going away. Take a look:

• One in every 8 or 9 people on Earth is on Facebook,
• People spend 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook,
• Facebook users spend an average of 15.5 hours a month on the site,
• More than 250 million people access Facebook through their mobile devices,
• YouTube has 490 million unique users who visit every month (as of February 2011),
• YouTube generates 92 billion page views per month,
• Users on YouTube spend a total of 2.9 billion hours per month (326,294 years),
• Twitter is handling 1.6 billion queries per day, and is adding nearly 500,000 users a day.

Don’t be hesitant or nervous about Social Media. Simply see it as another way to engage or connect. In days gone by, we engaged people face-to-face, at the mall or in church or at social functions. Much of that engagement has migrated to Social Media platforms. Though this may not be preferable to some, in the end, your reach with Social Media is breathtakingly multiplied!

Simple Keys To Effective Social Media:

• Be Authentic with everyone,
• Be Current with your posts,
• Be Relevant to your target market,
• Be Consistent with your values and mission,
• Be Bold and step out!

3) Equip & Empower

As coaches, we passionately want to equip and empower our clients to heal stronger than they ever have before, move forward more freely than they ever have before, dream larger than they ever have before, and reach higher than they ever have before. This only occurs as we equip and empower them towards finding their unique purpose, and not being held back. We equip our clients to live their LIFEFIT and to serve and impact humanity and the universe.

At times, our clients will be stuck, and may blame others and not take responsibility for controlling their unique controllables and making incremental progress where they can. I love the words of Mark Twain:  “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The worlds owes you nothing. It was here first.” Truly, this is an insightful offering of wisdom in a world where some live by entitlement, blame, and regularly playing the victim card. Don’t let your clients do this. Equip and empower them to rise above this!

All in all, there is no doubt that blessings and peace will rain down upon you in 2012! Blessings, peace, and success will rain down even more as you Evaluate, Engage, Equip, and Empower in 2012!

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My sense is that “12” is the number you need to know for 2012! “12″ is the number you need to know as we move forward into 2012!

“12” is the number of publishers that rejected J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter manuscript when she was living on social assistance in the early 1990′s. Eventually it was picked up by Bloomsbury, and today Rowling is worth an estimated $1 billion, and the Harry Potter brand is worth an estimated $23 billion. J.K. Rowling went on to sell 450 million copies.

The lesson for us all is this: don’t give up… be tenacious in engaging your strengths… relentless in following your passions, and unyielding when you fall down! The number “12” teaches us the following lessons for 2012:

• Be Tenacious In Engaging Your Strengths – Discover your strengths, your unique “LIFEFIT”, and begin to live them! Don’t allow the setbacks from your weaknesses hold you back. Don’t let the discouragements from not being as strong as you want to be to hold you back. Be tenacious in engaging your strengths. Steadfast. Resolute. Constantly feed and nourish yourself. Take time for you. In The Teaching Of The Buddhist Master, we read the following: “Your breathing is your greatest friend. Return to it in all your troubles and you will find comfort and guidance.” Take time to breathe. To reflect. To self-nurture. Devote a tithe, 10% of your waking hours to self-care, self-nourishment, paying attention to yourself and to developing your strengths and your LIFEFIT. To discover your LIFEFIT, and grow in awareness of it, perhaps pick up this book: http://www.gettingwhereyouneedtogo.com/

• Be Relentless In Following Your Passions – Terri Guillemets said this: “Chase down your passion like it’s the last bus of the night. Follow your passion, and success will follow you.” Resolve that 2012 will be a year of chasing your passions, rather than chasing success. When you chase success, often disappointment and bitterness is the result. When you chase your passions, success is often the result. Your faith box and self-mirror determine your whole life: what you think, feel, experience and do; what you create, grow, build and dream. You are thinking, feeling, experiencing and doing what your faith-box contains and what your self-mirror shows. You are creating, growing, building and dreaming what your faith-box allows and what your self-mirror permits. And all of this is tied into all of us following our passions with full engagement and relentless focus!

• Be Unyielding When You Fall Down – We all fall down when we are seeking to walk, run and soar. If we are not falling, it is because we are not trying, not risking, and not stepping out. Henry Ford famously said that, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently”. When you fall down, don’t yield, resign, or surrender. Simply get back up, learn from the event, and begin again, this time with greater insight and intelligence! Never walk in pride. Keep yourself constantly humble and needy. Keep your ego in check. Don’t have an inflexible agenda. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken. The power of humility is that it draws all the support and help you need to thrive and be successful. Pride and ego repel people. It discourages them from offering the help you may need, because you project that you do not need anything. Be like the Greek word for “meekness”, a war horse that is trained and powerful, yet under control. Benjamin Franklin said that, “A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.” The truth is that for many great leaders, humility is the missing ingredient…

Perhaps it is time, in 2012, for you to take your skills in working with people, and acumen in engaging individuals and groups, and become a Certified Life Coach or Executive Coach. If so, please contact myself, or the Certified Coaches Federation.

“12” is the number you need to know for 2012. Be tenacious in engaging your strengths… relentless in following your passions, and unyielding when you fall down when you are living your dream!

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Apparently, this is the latest fad in playground design and builds. To protect our children from nasty falls and unexpected drops, and the accompanying bumps, bruises and lacerations, we have padded and protected the ground. When they fall, rather than hitting the ground or sand or gravel, they gently bounce off the foam. It is pain free. They can play, but without worrying about pain.

In no way do I mean to pass judgment on this remarkable innovation. I am not a medical doctor, nor am I an paediatrician. Perhaps this “playground protection” is precisely what the doctor ordered. As a parent myself, I can bear witness to the over-riding passion we all have to keep our children safe and protected from harm, and the harm we feel when they experience any form of pain.

However, moving into the realm of adults, there can be no doubt in our current culture, that we make great efforts to create a life without pain. It is clear that pain is to be avoided at all costs. Almost every ad and marketing piece speaks about a Utopian concept of the “good life” where we can navigate the difficulties of staying in shape and losing weight and planning for retirement and raising our children without pain. In the world of slick marketing and airbrushed images, life, career, relationships, and success all flow with effortless waves of bliss, when you buy this product or that service. All we need to do is sign up for whatever product or service is being sold, offer our credit card number, and we will have all we want in life, but without any pain.

The truth is that growth, personal development, and maturity are almost never without pain. The moments when we experience our greatest adversity can often become our season of greatest triumph. When the pain elevates, our development accelerates. When hardship increases, growth steps up. Aristotle said it like this: “We cannot learn without pain”.

A few years ago, I went through the greatest period of darkness and pain in my life. I lost much of what I had worked so hard for. I made poor choices and as a result, ended up in a moment of pain and heartbreak that I honestly did not think would ever end. But it did end. And not only did it end, but I stand today stronger and more secure than I have ever been. My perspective has been shaped, my attitudes adjusted, my choices re-aligned, my grace renewed. I am a deeper and fuller person than I was before. And pain was the process.

I learned that pain is inevitable. But misery is optional. Pain is an inevitable part of life, and is an integral component of the growth process. I learned things in the place of pain I could never learn in the place of pleasure.

How Do We Grow Through Pain?

1. Pain Brings Clarity Of Focus
   Pain has the interesting benefit of sharpening our focus. I discovered this one day when I was building a fence with a nail gun, and was so comfortable with it that I took my eyes off what I was doing and began to use the nail gun on auto-pilot. Not a good idea! The pain I experienced when I grazed my hand with the 2 inch nail brought me back to a place of focus and clarity. What was most important became clear, and I was able to finish building the fence without distraction.
   

   See in life, sometimes pain is crucial to help us focus again. John Maxwell said it like this: “Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don’t want to believe that. But if you’re over age twenty-one, your life is what you’re making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities.”
   

2. Pain Puts Things Into Perspective
   Pain has the important quality if helping us put everything into perspective. We all tend to get a little whiny and to feel sorry for ourselves. Pain helps us to put things in perspective, so we don’t confuse an inconvenience with a legitimate problem. Robert Fulghum said it a little more clearly: “If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.”
   

   See, our culture has conditioned us to actually believe that we can go through life without any struggles, hardships or difficulties. Some of us really believe this, and therefore we are surprised when they occur. Let me be clear. The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting we will not have problems, and then thinking that having problems is a problem. And, being surprised when they occur. Pain helps us understand this.
   

3. Pain Forces Us To Make A Choice
   When faced with pain, we are always faced with choices. The choice pain offers is not only the choice between pain and misery, but also between mediocrity and magnificence, average and amazing, apathetic living or passionate living. Pain causes us to recalibrate, look in the mirror, and ask: What’s most important to me? Pain forces us to make a choice. And choices are crucial to growth and maturity.
   

   Jim Rohn described what I am sharing like this: “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.” When faced with pain, we either rise up and become all we can be, or we shrink back and live far less than our full potential. Pain often comes to help us to close the gap between our full potential and our current performance. But it’s all about our choices.
   

   There is one thing that we all have in common. That is… at some point in our lives, we will face adversity. It’s not a matter of if but… when. I have come to realize that the difference in our success and failure is not chance, but choice. Because when adversity strikes, it’s not what happens that will determine our destiny; it’s how we react to what happens.

4. Pain Attracts Support & Partners
   One of the most amazing and sweet things about pain is the support, partnership and help it attracts. In no way am I talking about moping around, crying the blues, and being a drain on everyone else. But, what I discovered, when I embraced my pain, and engaged the process of life-change the pain was producing, people were attracted to the process and attracted to supporting and partnering with me. At a crazy time in my life in the past, I would try to carry hardship alone, even hiding it from others. Now, it simply is what it is. And, some people, who are designed to help and care and support, come alongside me and help me to get through it. Thanks! The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it.
   

   David Joseph Schwartz said this: “Here is the basic rule for winning success. Let’s mark it in the mind and remember it. The rule is: Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be is the support of other people.” This is so true, and when we honestly embrace the process of pain, people come alongside to support us. Truthfully, a friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you, just the way you are. Pain brings these friends to the surface.

5. Pain Is Our Greatest Place Of Gain
   There is no doubt that for most of us, pain is our greatest place of gain. Just like staying in shape is difficult with sweat and effort, so personal growth and maturity is slow when everything in our lives is perfect. Lance Armstrong, one of the greatest athletes of all time, said this: “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”
   

   The single difference between pain that grows us, and pain that simply hurts us, is our attitude. We need to consciously choose, in a place of pain, to not blame others. To not feel sorry for ourselves. To embrace the pain and the lessons our pain is trying to teach us. As Oprah Winfrey said, “Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
   

   The reality is, at some point, we all leave the padded mat of the playground and have to face the rough and tumble and pain of life without protection and at times, without support. Let’s do so, knowing our pain can be our greatest place of gain. And don’t be surprised when life throws pain your way, because when pain elevates, our development accelerates.

“It reminds me of my mind. Of my rushing and restless thoughts”, answered Ranga.

“Yes, the stormy ocean is like the mind, and the waves are the thoughts. The mind is neutral like the water. It is neither good, nor bad. The wind is causing the waves, as desires and fears produce thoughts”, said Swamiananda.

“I wouldn’t want to be on a boat, in the middle of the ocean, in a storm like this”, said Ranga.

“You are there all the time”, responded Swamiananda. He continued, “Most people are on a rudderless boat in the middle of a choppy ocean, even if they do not realize it. The mind of most people is very restless. Thoughts of all kinds come and go incessantly, agitating the mind like the ocean’s waves.”

“Yes”, Ranga interrupted him, “You don’t have to tell me. This is the reason I am with you. I want to calm down the waves of my mind.”

Swamiananda looked at Ranga for a while, smiled and said: “You don’t calm the ocean by holding the water and not letting it move. What is necessary is to stop the wind. The wind is made of your thoughts, desires and fears. Don’t let them rule your life. Learn to control them by controlling your attention, and then the ocean of your mind grows calm.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Suppose it is possible for the ocean to disregard the wind, what would happen then?” asked Swamiananda.

“The waves would cease. But no one can stop the wind.”

Swamiananda looked at him with a mysterious smile and said: “Why not? The wind, the ocean, and thoughts are all within the mind. When you can control the mind, you can control everything within it. But first you have to control your mind, which means you have to control your attention.”

“Yes master”, said Ranga, “this is what I am trying to do. You say whoever controls his mind can also control the wind. Can you do that?”

“First learn to calm down the ocean of your mind, and then find out if you can calm down the ocean. It is better to learn to control the mind, than enjoying mental tricks. When you calm your mind, you can calm down everything.”

I came across this story while I was surfing the Net (successconsciousness.com) one day, and it really spoke to me about the concept of Mastery. There are far more things in this that we cannot master, than things that we can master. We can’t master or control the government, taxes, the economy, or the people around us. We cannot control nature, the stars, relationships, or many of the conditions around us. However, as the story shows, we can master and control our minds. And, we can always learn the art of mastering ourselves. Leonard da Vinci said, “One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” Rather than using all the things we can’t master as an excuse to do nothing, let’s use all we can’t master as motivation to master the things we can! We can always master and control our minds and ourselves!

Keys to Personal Mastery…

1. Believe You Can Do It: To develop mastery, we need to believe that we CAN! Many have tried and failed, and so we’re discouraged and don’t really believe we can develop mastery. Never allow the failures of the past to hinder you from moving forward in the future. You are “more” today than you ever have been before. You can do anything you set your mind and yourself to do, because the power is within!
2. Take Personal Responsibility: We need to “train ourselves” in the area of Mastery. When I was young, I realized what I was passionate about and what I wanted to be seen as “good at”. This knowledge propelled me to strive to take personal responsibility and live a life of mastery. We must do it, and not expect others to. It’s our responsibility. And, we must not blame others if we have a hard time, or blame circumstances. There is an ancient proverb that speaks to this…
   

   “Go to the ant… Consider her ways and be wise, Which, having no captain, overseer or ruler, Provides her supplies in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest.”

3. Have The Right Priorities: I’ve found that the greatest problem that hinders many from a lack of mastery is wrong priorities. We need to learn the fine art of planning to neglect everything that is not connected to our personal priorities. We cannot allow the distractions of a moment or the priorities of others to derail us. Take regular time to find your centre and realize what is most important to you, and build your life around that. Stay focused. Michelangelo said, “If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all.”
4. Aim High But Start Small: When we start to learn mastery in a certain area, we need to aim high, but start low. We need to have a high goal of where we want to end up, and yet we need to start small! This makes it easier to reach instead of trying to hit so high! Rome wasn’t built in a day. By perseverance, the snail reached the ark!
5. Create A Daily Plan: Until something becomes part of your daily routine, it won’t be part of your life. Look at your daily life and your daily schedule, and create a daily plan that works for you. Master the moments and eventually, you will master your life! Mastery grows when something we treasure becomes part of our daily plan.
6. Just Do It, And See The Value In What You’re Doing: When we have created a plan, we need to simply do it. And, to be continually motivated, we need to continually remind ourselves of the value proposition. Remind yourself that though you are “paying” now, you will get to “play” later! Remind yourself that the benefits of mastery exceed the cost of the discipline involved in gaining it. When the journey of self-discipline begins, we often ask ourselves why we are doing this. It seems to be a waste. When you remember the value of what you are doing, it sure helps!
7. When You Fail:
   • Get Back Up – Keep on keepin’ on!
   • Don’t Make Excuses – Simply accept responsibility
   • Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself – What’s the point? No one gets better when they just beat themselves up a little more!

If we want to attain Mastery in anything, we desperately need to fight and win the battle with ourselves. Mastery is not our goal, so much as a means to our other goals. Our goal isn’t just Mastery, but to grow and develop through Mastery. Mastery is a tool and a pathway to help us grow. Mastery is always worth developing!

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Taking the time for Personal Retreats has been a part of personal development and growth for thousands of years. From early Buddhist monks to Hindu priests to spiritual shamans to Christian monks and nuns, Personal Retreats have been practiced and celebrated through the years by people of every faith and spiritual orientation. Lin Yutang said this: “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.”

Personal Retreats have been practiced and celebrated over the years by spiritual people because they Rest The Body. Life can be hard on the body, with the constant demands on all of us to work harder and produce more and engage in more and more activity. Personal Retreats give us the opportunity to rest our bodies and recharge our batteries.

Personal Retreats also Enlighten The Mind. An amazing thing happens when we pause and cease to be still: Our mind is enlightened. Answers and solutions present themselves. The complex becomes simple. Captain J.A. Hadfield said it like this: “This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.” I love that!

Resting the mind and dismissing from it all care and worry. There’s power in that! The power of rest is that it feeds and supplies the mind!

As a result of having a Rested Body and Enlightened Mind, Personal Retreats also Nourish The Soul. Our soul, like a tender plant, or even an infant child, needs to be continually nourished and cultivated. The power of a Nourished Soul is such that when properly nourished, we have the motivation, strength, and capacity to nourish and feed others. Once again, Captain J.A. Hadfield speaks to us: “Acquire inner peace and a multitude will find their salvation near you.” Being available to strengthen and support others is surely a part of our collective destiny. Personal Retreats can help us here.

Personal Retreats also Heal The Wounds. Life, work, business and relationships can hurt at times, and so we need to take time to pull away and heal. Perhaps society has so much visible dysfunction in terms of relationships precisely because we don’t take time to heal. The insecurity, fear, ego, and even anger others project onto us, we often unknowingly project onto others, simply because the time is not taken to reflect, renew and heal.

Personal Retreats also Refresh The Spirit. When our spirit is refreshed, we encourage ourselves more, bounce back quicker, and are more available to others for mentoring and accountability. We also live our lives with a greater degree of gratitude and less of a degree of entitlement. We become a source of refreshing to others.

Lastly, Personal Retreats can Clarify The Vision. So many times, what was once clear to us in terms of vision and dreams and forward thinking becomes clouded and obscure. I once had a mirror which found a home in my garage, and inevitably became dusty, so that the image it reflected was not clear. Personal Retreats are an incredible opportunity to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of daily life, so that our vision can again become clear, and so that they dust can be wiped away.

Ovid, who lived way back from 43 B.C. to 17 A.D., said this: “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” You and I were born to yield a Bountiful Crop! This Bountiful Crop comes as we take time to rest and renew, and taking time for Personal Retreats is an important part of rest and renewal! Happy Retreating!

Abe Brown, B.Th., C.P.C., C.M.C. Abe Brown is the Certified Master Coach Trainer and Regional Vice President for the Certified Coaches Federation for Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba, along with the Atlantic Provinces. He has been a professional Life and Executive Coach for over 15 years, and also trains others to be Life Coaches. More information can be found at www.certifiedcoachesfederation.com, or by calling 1-866-455-2155. Email: abe@certifiedcoachesfederation.com

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